Love is grand, babe. But what happens when your love is sour? November is all about gratitude, self-love and taking good care of your mental and physical health before the craziness of the holiday season really sets in. One important part of self-care is checking in on your relationships. Read on for SlutBox's checklist of unhealthy relationship red flags. Abuse isn’t always as obvious as being hit or cursed out. In fact, abuse can be subtle. Here are some signs you might be in an abusive relationship. If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, it may be time to reevaluate your sitch.

Unsafe Relationship Checklist:

1. Do you feel as though your feelings are ignored, disrespected or ridiculed?
2. During normal conversations, does your partner makes you feel stupid, or like you’re always wrong?
3. Does your partner withhold affection, approval or appreciation?
4. When you don’t agree with them, do you hear things like “you’re crazy,” “this is all in your head” or that you’re making a big deal out of nothing.?
5. Do they humiliate or embarrass you, privately or in public?
6. When you’re upset, does your partner immediately dismiss it, or tell you you’re too sensitive?
7. Is your partner controlling of your decisions, your money, who you socialize with or even what you wear? Are they possessive and jealous of your time and attention?
8. Do you find yourself doing things you don’t want to do, for fear of how your partner might react if you object?
9. Sexual assault can also happen in relationships. Does your partner pressure you for sex, or not respect you when you say “no” ?
10. Physical abuse isn’t just a slap or a shove. It also includes pinching, holding you down when you’re fighting, or holding you in a forceful hug when you don’t want to be near them. Do any of these behaviors sound familiar?
11. Is your partner jealous or unhappy about achievements or good things that happen in your life?
12. Does your partner limit time you spend with your friends or family? Do they tell you that other people shouldn’t interfere in a fight between a couple, and that your problems are private?
13. Does your partner express their anger by slamming on doors or table, breaking objects or using other physical force to intimidate or scare you?
14. Do they make you feel like you are to blame for their aggression or threats?
15. Do they raise their voice at you? Remember: violence isn’t just physical, and it’s very common for violence to escalate.
16. Do they hit you? It may seem obvious, but it’s a good reminder. It is NEVER okay for someone to hurt you. It’s not right, you don’t deserve it, and it’s never your fault.
17. Is your partner constantly aggressive, threatening or violent, but each time they promise they won’t do it anymore?

Abuse is never the survivor’s fault. And it’s worth remembering, its not only men who can be violent in relationships and it’s not only women who are the victims.

If you are in an abusive relationship or know someone else who is, get help. Talk to someone you trust, or get in touch with someone at the National Domestic Violence Hotline via their live chat option or at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), which is available 24/7.